quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
