which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
