I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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