So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
operation have a gay friend backfired
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
