I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
