I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
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It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
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I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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