even my farts smell like vagina
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
