U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
