Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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