Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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