There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
