then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize