I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
