The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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