we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
