ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
