I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
