somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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