She's JV to your varsity
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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