idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
