Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
