i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
