My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
