I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
