hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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