STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
