Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
