Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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