we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
