Barsexuality is the new black.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
