also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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