I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The air was thick with penises
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
