take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
