nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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