I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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