How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize