Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize