A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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