even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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