I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
