new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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