Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
