jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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