batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize