I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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