Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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