8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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