I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
