He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
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that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
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OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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