its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
