just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
