evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
