I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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