did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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