I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
