Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize