Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
